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The Harmony of Family by Neil Bednar As I landed in Ft. Lauderdale for the Winter Seminar, I looked at my watch. Five o'clock - but I'd have to get my luggage and meet my parents who were picking me up. I really couldn't wait to get to the dojo for six o'clock class, and there'd probably be a high ranking teacher tonight since many people come into town early for the seminar and train one night or two at the dojo. I was also looking forward to seeing a lot of old friends. It's not that I wanted to blow off my parents, they were giving me a place to stay and would probably be taking me out to dinner a few times; it's just that I wanted, or rather needed to train. But they'd never understand that. They never had, and probably never would. But then a wonderful thing happened. My mother asked me, "Are you going to Aikido tonight?" "Well, I thought if I could go to the 6:00 class then we could eat dinner afterwards? If that's o.k. with you guys. Can you hang out for an hour? Maybe watch or whatever?" I said. "Sure. Is there a place we can sit down at the gym?" my mother asked. "Yeah, inside there are a bunch of chairs," I responded. I couldn't believe it. I was pulling this off without a hitch. I had always felt it difficult for much of my life in Aikido to train without having to explain, make excuses, or apologies to others (mainly family members). I must admit though, that it has become easier over time, and this is the essential message of this article. "Hey, do you want to go out to eat?" "We're going to see a movie." "Are you going to the game tomorrow night?" "Let's all meet next week at John's place." How many times have you had to beat around the bush to find ways of fitting Aikido into that thing you call a life? I'm sure that I can't be the only one who has been challenged by the act of making time for Aikido training when lots of other opportunities to engage in non-Aikido related events abound. For me, it always seemed like I had to make excuses for training rather than make excuses for not training. In other words, I would practically hide the fact that I was going to the dojo four or five times a week because most people in my life (i.e. family members) simply could not understand why this was necessary. And if it was necessary, then when would I be "done" with it so that I could get back to my "normal" life? (Whatever that was supposed to be.) At some point in time - probably when I realized that Aikido was a lifelong endeavor - I got tired of explaining myself all of the time, and feeling guilty that I was somehow being anti-social or engaging in some kind of weird, unhealthy behavior because I trained Aikido. Funny how nobody ever answered me when I asked them that if my going to the dojo was so bad, then why was it acceptable to go to the gym and run on a treadmill or pump iron ? I think the answer to that is obvious. If this seems like rambling, just know that any activity worth doing, any knowledge worth gaining, or any transformation worth undergoing will require a payment. That payment is made primarily with the currency of perseverance; and it is ironically your own perseverance in Aikido training that will eventually allow bewildered or unenlightened family members (those who love you) to gradually accept Aikido as an essential part of who you are. Then you can quit telling your parents that you'll meet them for dinner at 7:00 when you know darn well that by the time you change out of your gi, and get out of the dojo, it will be at least 7:30!