Flower Petals Fall
by David Mendenhall
"When people forget that they are going to die, and act as if they
think they are going to live forever, they do not fully appreciate and utilize the
passing months and years. As long as they are like this, they only act on greed,
anger, and falsehood, turning away from social and family duties, not understanding
human kindness and obligation, employing flattery and cajolery, neglecting home and
work for useless hobbies and amusements."
Suzuki Shosan
"Learning is the gate, not the house. When you see the gate, don't
think it is the house. You have to go through the gate to get to the house, which is
behind it."
Yagyu Munenori
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The bokken whirs above my head, then slashes down toward cool earth.
Sunlight paves its way over the yard, pushing shadows aside from the bark of maple
and willow. Frost grips lightly, naked spring branches. Here and there a bat
ricochets black against bluing sky.
The bokken slashes. I breathe.
My bare feet stumble over the uneven earth of our yard, toes cold and red at dawn
on a Sunday morning in March. I finish a kata, breathe, knees bent nearly
level with sword. Not right.
In my mind, I lower my center before trying again. I bend deeper at the knees,
one of which still aches from surgery, irimi, cut, and kaiten. Again.
My arms and shoulders tighten and tire. I drop them limply to my sides, breathe,
look to the windows above where, inside, my wife and daughter sleep in our bed.
Later I'll make breakfast and wash dishes. I will wash clothes and empty garbage.
Black toenails scrape frost from brown grass. Bone spurs protrude from weathered
heels. These ugly feet slide through eight kata Sensei has shown us these
last weeks. I fumble through the Japanese names of this block or that in my head. I
know nothing.
At the corner of our yard, buds bead out along the slender branches of a mock
orange bush like droplets of green ice. The dried stumps of box elder branches I
severed last summer point spear-like shafts into the sky at the base of the slight
bush. They will return, these box elders, thick and tenacious, winding their way up
the bush to strangle blossoms in white August. They will return, and I will cut them
away again.
My shadow shortens. The sun rises higher. I cut. I can see that the petals within
the buds have already fallen. I cut; my shadow shortens. Soon I will be nothing but
the fall of petals, and again.
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