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How It's Supposed to Work

by Jonathan Trigaux

"It is better to have some unhappiness when one is still young, for if a person does not experience some bitterness he will not settle down."
From the seventeenth-century Samurai manual Hagakure

I have a relatively large family, mostly attributed to various second marriages and their subsequent children. Thanks to this fallout of my nuclear family, I was an uncle at the age of five, and am currently the sixth of nine collective children, some of whom I have never even met. As one might guess from this, I am not particularly close with the members of my family. While I enjoyed a somewhat anonymous upbringing that encouraged self-sufficiency and independence, paternal mandates did not allow for participation in heavy contact sports or martial arts as a small lad such as myself would be easily injured.

At twenty-one I began taking aikido classes at our beloved dojo, Aikido of Champlain Valley. Aikido was like nothing else in which I had ever participated, or even conceptualized. Moving out of the way when attacked? Not getting hit? Whoa! Confl